Wake Me When Death Comes
by Ryoan
Summary: How could he stand there with the power of god in his hands, and tell him he failed? What was he to do now that he was gone? How was he suppose to go on? Could he go on? If not, was there anything to help stop the pain? Warning inside!


Disclaimer: FAKE, nor any of it's characters belong to me… sigh … those rights all belong to Sanami Matoh.

Warning: Not your 'nice' everyday fanfic of your favorite couple. Very strong language / Angst / Lime? Lemon? (Possibly something, and if so, it would definitely be yaoi! M/M!) / Character death with a twist. _Hey, does this warning look vaguely familiar?_

Rating: Definite R… _if_ rating goes higher, I will let you know where to go.

Summary: How could he stand there with the power of god in his hands, and tell him he failed? What was he to do now that he was gone? How was he suppose to go on? Could he go on? If not, was there anything to help stop the pain?

Hello. It's me again. I have to Thank ALL the people that took a chance reading **'P**ortrait **W**ithout **S**in**'**, and who gave me such wonderful and an overwhelming response on reviews. This is my _second_ attempt at writing yaoi fanfiction, using our favorite couple. And, just as before, to be clear with anyone reading: _I LOVE Ryo and Dee._ Still, this story will have a _much_ darker side to it than my other one, and yes, -- again -- characters may be in and/or out-of-character, and in situations that might _shock_ or _dismay _you. This fanfic. is just a matter of perspective of how one might react given a situation.

This chapter has been revised quite a bit, even though the story remains along the same line. There's additional descriptions and a rearrangement of paragraphs, speech and the likes…

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Quotation marks "like this" = talking

Italicized words = stressed emphasis

Italicized within apostrophes _'like this'_= thoughts

========== = division of actions, reactions, and thoughts of characters. Also skips of moments and time

NOTE: There are also Italicized sentences within parenthesizes about one-quarter way into this chapter, of which I do not disclose who is speaking them. It starts once they get into the emergency room. My point is, it doesn't really matter who they are. The words are spoke out by medical personnel (period), and I am not elaborating on the who and what. I have _Italicized_ them to stand out from what one of the main characters is saying at the same time, because they blend. I do hope this clears any confusion in reading, and that you can figure out what I'm meaning.

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Wake Me When Death Comes

By: Ryoan

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****

Part 1: Don't Die On Me!

"Ryo, can you hear me?!" Dee's voice was anxious as he spoke the words. "Everything is going to be alright. Just hang in there, buddy!"

His darker hand, smeared with blood, held the lighter one tightly……

"I'm right here, Ryo! I'm right here with you!"

…… as if physical contact helped the injured man to hear him… as if it were a link that kept him alive… as if it gave the frantic dark haired man a piece of sanity to hold on to.

Rushing down the corridor along side of the stretcher, as the paramedics raced the injured officer toward the emergency room, he said more forcefully, _"Don't you die on me!"_

His eyes barely moved from his partner's face, which was pale even against the whiteness of the pillow beneath his head, and partly covered by the oxygen mask already in place.

"Do you hear?!"

His light brown hair a scattered disarray about his head.

"Don't you fucking die!"

Red crimson was the only splash of color that tainted the man's parlor, bandages, and sheets of the trolley.

"Hang in there…" He repeated more softly than his other words.

A hook-up of an IV attached to the other side of his arm.

"Just hang in there…"

He couldn't tell if he was getting through or not. Ryo's eyes were closed, and even though Dee had a grip on his hand, there was no strength in a return.

They burst through the door, into a much cooler atmosphere of a room that had a table stationed in the middle. Orders were being given. A flurry of movement was made around them. Security rails were dropped, and Ryo was hauled over to the table. Yet Dee did not let go of his partner's hand. Then the cart disappeared, and Dee was able to move closer once more.

"BP is low……"

"Ryo……" Dee breathed his name, clasping his hand even tighter……

"Respiration is…"

"I need you."

…… forcing every ounce of strength and will from every fiber of his being……

"… shallow…"

"… match type…"

"Please,… don't die…"

…… from his very soul,… and sent it into his deathly still partner.

"Pupils are…"

"… pints stat, another on standby!"

"… dilated…"

"Take whatever you need from me…"

"Who is this guy…?"

"… is dropping…"

"… his partner…"

"…just don't leave me…"

"Let's MOVE people!"

"…he's crashing…"

"Get him out of here!"

"…give him 10cc of eph…"

Hands fell upon Dee, pulling him away.

"…get that damn tube in…"

"_NO_!" Dee yelled as his arm stretched to length, and his clasp upon Ryo's hand started to slip free. "I have to stay with him!"

As his hand lost touch, there was that brief second that motion stopped -- that slight, almost touching separation as both hands remained in mid-air -- before Ryo's hand fell away.

"_RYO_!"

He struggled against the two 'medics',……

"I'm here with you, buddy!"

…… watching as blue clad bodies closed around and swarmed about his inert companion in scurrying movements,……

"Hang in there!"

…… as they continued to haul him toward the operating room doors with much difficulty. He was not leaving his partner willingly.

Another pair of hands -- or rather two -- took hold of him from behind……

"Get your fucking hands off me!"

…… and between the four of them,……

"RYO!" He shouted near the entrance.

…… they managed, -- barely, -- to pull him out of the room.

"Stay with me, partner!" Dee yelled out, still encouraging Ryo as they passed through the doors; hoping his voice was getting through, making that connection that he couldn't physically.

Then the door swung shut, separating them, and closing off the sight of activity that was happening in the busy room.

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He couldn't say how long it was. Forever it seemed. Each second was an eternity.

Drake and JJ happened to have been the two others that had helped drag him from the room. After hearing the commotion inside and seeing through the window the trouble that the two paramedics were having, they had rushed inside to aid in the companion's removal. Even now, as Dee leaned against the wall, they stood near the entrance of the room to prevent him from making a mad rush back in there.

His dark head was bent down. His arms folded across his chest. Not in the fashion, as one would, of being angry, but in a way of just holding himself. Holding himself as if he were hanging onto Ryo. As if in disbelief that this was all happening. Listening. Hearing the sounds of the machines, especially the one that kept the rhythm of his beating heart. Keeping track.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

His normally vibrate, beautiful emerald eyes were dull as they stared unblinkingly at the tiled flooring. Seeing nothing except Ryo's face, as he turned his head to look up at him after he had been shot.

His partner's body had slammed into his in recoil of the striking bullet. They both went down, yet Dee had somehow managed to control their fall.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Dee instinctively, and automatically, wrapped his arm around him securely. Refusing to let go even as Ryo's fingers bit painfully into his arm as his hands clung tightly against it.

He knew his partner was looking up at him… Looking up and seeing the look of stoic determination of purpose, as Dee leveled his gun on the armed man and fired two shots.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

He reeled. Flipping in a side spin and then crashing to the sidewalk.

Dee kept his guard up a few seconds more, watching to see if he tried anything else, but the man just remained still. Dropping his defense, his attention turned to Ryo.

Shoving his gun in the holster, he adjusted his partner in his arms, and lowered him to the ground. Opening his shirt a bit, he surveyed the damage.

Dee went pale himself. The hole in the upper right part of Ryo's chest was pouring blood……

"Hang in there, man."

Beep. Beep. . Beep. .

…… and he was in a lot of pain, having difficulty with his breathing.

"Don't you die on me!"

Dee put pressure on the open wound to staunch the flow, and it tore him up hearing Ryo cry out. Dear God, he was in so much pain! And there was so much blood!

Unclipping the cell phone from his belt, Dee hurriedly pressed the button for dispatch emergency.

"This is Laytner, 29. Officer down. Repeat, Officer down. Gunshot wound to the chest. Armed suspect down. Requesting ambulance, immediately. Located at……"

Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep.

Pulling the phone away from his ear he stared at it as if it had just turned into something hideous, when all that it had really done was flash a warning that the unit was discharging. The battery was dead!

"Oh, no…" Dee murmured in disbelief, his heart skipping a beat. "No!"

There was a look of alarm in his expression as he glanced back down at Ryo. The thought of using his came to mind, but just as quickly, he remembered that it laid in scattered pieces on the floor, near the stairs of the building they were next to.

Beep. . . Beep. . . Beep. . . .

He gave a quick assessment of the alleyway, only to find nothing he was in need of. He was about ready to yell for someone to help… _but_ this _was_ New York.

"D-Dee…" His voice was ragged as he tried to speak, his fingers curling tightly in the material of his partner's shirt.

"Don't try to talk, Ryo."

"… i-if some… thing h-hap-pens to me…… p-promise t-to take c-care of B-Bikky."

"No. You take care of the brat yourself!" The words that came out of his mouth weren't meant to be mean or to reject what Ryo wanted of him. Of course he would do anything, but he said them as a way of saying, you have to hang in there; you can't die.

"P-Prom-ise me…"

It was hard for Dee not answering him; afraid that if he did, Ryo wouldn't fight as much believing things would be taken care of.

"Prom…ise…" He gritted out as a wave of pain assailed him.

"Fine!" He said forcefully in his panic, unable to deny him anything. "I promise!"

He needed to keep pressure on the wound, but he also needed to get to the car, or to a phone, or something…… and, yet, he couldn't just leave him there, alone, bleeding……

"I'm gonna lift you up. Hang on."

It wasn't easy, but Dee shifted Ryo again, catching him under his left arm to curl his own around his back. The sound that escaped between his partner's clenched teeth, as he fought to hold it back, struck deep cords within him. He wasn't as fortunate when it came to picking him up.

Ryo cried out, his breath coming in harsh gasps as Dee adjusted him in his arms; awkwardly trying to keep pressure on the wound with his chest.

"I'm gonna get you some help." He vowed, moving as fast as his legs and balance could take him. "Stay with me, buddy."

Thankfully, by some miracle of God, he heard sirens already approaching as he neared the end of the alley.

Beep. . . . Beep. . . . . Beep. . . . .

"I l-love you, D-Dee." Ryo murmured against him.

Dee looked down into his partner's pale face, his beautiful eyes glazed with pain.

"Don't you fucking dare die on me, Ryo Maclean!" He spoke in almost angry tones. "You hear me?"

"I-I love… y-you…"

Clearing the building, Dee turned toward the sound and upon seeing the lights of the police car, knowing they were noticed, he dropped to his knees.

"They're coming, Ryo. Just hang on!"

Laying him down, he put his hand over the seeping wound again.

"GET THE FUCKING AMBULANCE HERE NOW!" He roared at the officer that was rushing toward them. "NOW!!"

Beep. . . . . Beep. . . . . . Beep. . . . . . . .

"Ryo! God, don't do this to me! Open you eyes! Stay awake! You need to stay awake!"

His lids moved, trying to do as his partner ordered him to, and finally managed, with great effort, to open them part way.

"Hang in there!"

Despite the pain, a small smile curved his mouth, and Dee saw the love that Ryo had for him shine forth.

"Don't you leave me!" His voice was low and hoarse, yet very forceful, as his other hand held onto Ryo's in a tight grip.

He watched as lips moved -- I love you -- but the words themselves never made a sound. Then lashes fell over the rich, dark brown eyes as they closed.

Beep. . . . . . . . Beep. . . . . . . . . . Beep. . . . . . . . . . . .

"Ryo… I…"

Before he knew it, people swarmed around them, jerking at Ryo's clothing; one pulling his lids open, flicking a light over them. Voices calling out vitals and such. Paper ripping. An oxygen mask strapped to his face. Needles being shoved under his skin… Metal clattering. Feet pounding against the pavement……

'… love you, too…' He could only finish in his head.

…… and then… they were up and moving quickly… rushing… Rushing here…

'Ryo…'

Bee-p. . . . . . . . . . Bee-p. . . . . . . . . . . . . Bee. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The high pitch solid sound brought Dee's head up to stare in the direction of the closed doors……

Drake, JJ, Ted, and Berkeley Rose, who had arrived just moments ago, all looked up; turning their heads to stare at the closed doors also.

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'No.'

…… emerald eyes widened……

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Four pair of eyes turned their focus on Dee. In the distance, footsteps could be heard pounding against the tile flooring as they raced toward their direction.

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'No!'

…… as his own heart stopped beating……

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His lungs hurt like they never had before. He could hear the rasp of his breath as his body pulled the air into them…… life giving air…… and, yet, it hut so much to breath it. But he couldn't stop. He couldn't slow down.

He could see them just ahead. Just standing there. Looking. Four, seemingly staring at the dark haired man standing against the wall, whose arms were dropping down to his sides.

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****

'NO!' 

…… just as his partner's had.

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"RYYYY-OOO!!!"

Dee rushed for the door, intending to go inside. Needing to be there. Knowing if he was that Ryo would wake up. But the four men formed a barrier, barring him, clasping at him to prevent him from going back in there.

_"NOOO!" _He struggled vehemently against their hold. _"LET ME GO, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES!"_

He struggled against their hold, and as incited as he was, they were losing ground against him.

_"RYO, WAKE UP!"_ He yelled, then said a bit softer, _"They can't let him die!"_ Then loudly again, _"YOU CAN'T LET HIM DIE! FUCKING BREATHE, RYO! BREATHE! YOU CAN'T DIE!……"_

The scream of the single tone in his ears drowned out his own voice to them.

One of the men went crashing into the wall next to the door, but Dee didn't care. He was able to touch the door with the tip of his fingers.

"…… YOU CAN"T FUCKING LEAVE ME…!"

Hands… arms… clasping… grabbing… holding back… pushing forward…

"RYYY-OOO!!!"

Through the window, he could see some of the people moving away from Ryo's body……

"NOOO!!" He continued to struggle with them like a rabid animal, but the sight weakened his strength.

…… They were… giving… up…?

"NOOO!!! DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE! DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE GIVE UP ON HIM!!"

The strength it took for him to yell, enabled the others to shove him back, away from the door.

Dee felt his body going backwards, and he stumbled awkwardly a couple of steps. Hands reached out to steady him, but he jerked away furiously, wanting _no one _to touch him. Muscles tensed and strained, hands tighten into fists.

Clenching his teeth, lips pulled back almost in a snarl, he fought to keep his mouth from opening and just screaming, as each breath brought forth a growl-like huff.

Then his back hit hard against the wall.

The sounds he made subsided as he listening to the continuous shrill screech of the heart monitor. He felt like running away, yet he was bound there, staring at the closed door between him and his partner with wide unblinking eyes, unable to leave.

His legs gave out supporting him, and he slid downward to the floor.

_'Nooooo!'_ his mind screamed. No, no, no, no, no! Not Ryo! Not him! He needed him! He wasn't ready……!

'No! You can't die, Ryo! You can't leave me! You can't!' The voice in his head shouted.

The only thing he heard was the squeal of that single tone……

'This isn't happening!…'

……then it became silent.

'…What am I suppose to do without you? How am I suppose to go on? How…?'

Looking down at his hands, Dee gazed at the blood that was smeared upon them. Ryo's blood. His shirt… his pants… Ryo's blood was all over him.

He wanted to cry, yet no tears stung his eyes. He wanted to scream, yet his throat ached so badly, the sound stuck there like some bone caught sideways so that nothing could come out.

People milled around him, and although he was aware of the fact, it didn't seem real. It…… It _couldn't_ be. Life…… _real life_ had to have stopped, because the one thing that meant anything… that meant everything was… gone. The one thing that was important to this world… that made life bearable was… dead. So… how… was it possible…? How was it possible for everyone to be moving around… breathing… living… like nothing even happened?

Sure, he had gone through death before. With Arnon. With Jessy. But… Ryo… Ryo was his life…!

Dimly, he heard someone calling his name… somewhere in the distance. Lifting his head as in a stupor, he noticed that everything began slowing down in motion. That was good. Maybe it was all catching up now. Maybe it was all realizing that life had no more meaning, and was winding down to a final halt.

The doors in front of him were gradually opening, and lifeless green eyes focused upon the man that came out; garbed in a blue gown with stains of blood upon it, removing the mask that covered his face.

He came out there to tell him the news. To tell him that Ryo was dead. To tell him that he was sorry.

Sorry? How could he be sorry? How could he, when he knew nothing of what that man laying in there was to him?! How could he stand there, with the power of god in his hands, and tell him he failed?

Lips parted, forming words, yet voices and sounds vanished into silence. He could not hear, nor… watching as they slowly moved… make out what they were.

From the corner of his sight, Dee noticed a speeding body, gradually coming toward them. Dropping to their knees after coming with a few feet, they slid to a crashing stop against him. Hands grabbed the front of his shirt, as if about to shake him, then immediately let go. The blonde head bent slightly as they momentarily peered down at the palms of their hands before stark blue eyes looked up to stare into his unresponsive green ones; tears running down his young face.

Beyond that, Dee didn't feel anything else either. He was too numb to even feel the ache in his chest.

_'He's dead.'_ The words swirled within his head.

The room tilted, but people didn't seem to notice. Neither did gravity, which should have kicked in by now.

_'Don't leave me, Ryo.'_ His mind yelled out. _'I need you. I need you so much!'_

He caught sight of Drake and JJ bending down, looking as if they were both saying something as they started to reach out toward him.

Someone must have flipped the light switch the wrong way as the room began to get brighter and brighter, until there was a hazy halo around everything and everyone.

_'I don't know what to do… without… you. You… have… to… stay…'_

Then… finally… the world caught up with itself, and everything just went dark.

======================== End of Part 1 ==========================

First, I don't know much about medicine and procedures. I couldn't even remember anything from any drama on TV, so therefore, yes, I brokenly wrote the ER scenario as it is, with fragments and pieces thrown here and there -- not quite saying it, but, I think, saying enough to get the idea. Besides, it's Dee that is only vaguely catching parts of it anyway, since the only thing of real importance is Ryo.

Also, this one might be slow in updating chapters. This first one is a trial for the moment. I do have the entire ending already set, so at least I know where I'm heading with it. But I've yet to make the filler in between. Thoughts are rolling in my head though.

Sorry for all the revisions. There's been some kink's trying to get this chapter uploaded on certain sites. They add strange character typing, or highlight something that's not suppose to be, or makes it twice bigger than it should…… So I tried to re-do the chapter so there isn't a problem, which lead to a huge revision on nearly the entire chapter. Well, hope you like this one better or as much……

Reviews are always very much appreciated.

Ryoan

P.S. - Portrait Without Sin is not located on the FF site. You must go to the MM site


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